I have followed the energy of nature for years. I live in the woods surrounded by nature. She is up front and very present in my life. She is my teacher.  And I have known that winter is a time for rest and gestation of the seeds of our creations. However, even though I know this, and have lived it to the best of my ability, there has always been a nagging voice that made it impossible to rest at the depth I have needed my entire life. No matter what I was doing to nourish myself and rebuild my energy I listened to this voice telling that I should be doing something else more productive. If I didn’t I wouldn’t survive. Drove me nuts!

The experience I had recently supporting my friend to leave this world had a more profound effect on me than I realized. I am experiencing winter at a depth that I am actually witnessing nature doing in her sillness all around me. I am resting at a depth that I could reach only when I no longer feared “Madam Death.” She is the side of the great feminine that no one wants to embrace.

Ironically, I am discovering something quite the opposite is appearing as a result of letting go of this gripping fear that if I don’t keep moving, and producing I won’t survive. This level of rest, relaxation has softened my grip to the point of being open to receiving. Madam Death stood at the doorway. Making friends with her is giving me life without the worry, struggle, unnecessary “what if” fear. My white knuckle fist that has been so normal it was undetectable is loosenig and opening into a receptive trust. Making friends with the death of my body, the death side of the yearly cycle, winter, is givine me life with a new foundation to build upon free from the terror of this young inner child whose needs were not met. After giving her the nurturing she needed so badly this child is now showing up infusing my winter seeds with her creativity and inspiration.

I have discovered that my survival is dependant on my ability to receive the gifts coming my way that not only assures my needs are met, but my life’s destiny road is traveled. If I am unable to feel the stillness and peace that comes from this open handedness I miss the gifts, and they just float on by unnoticed. The gift I received in my recent experience that forced me to meet the so called “Dragon” within that I was constantly running from was truly guarding the treasure chest I was longing for, just like in the fairy tales. Ahhhh, winter, I love it so!