Menopause is a passage into the autumn of our life. It prepares us to take a look at our harvest, separate the wheat from the chaff, and distill the wisdom from our journey. After taking time to go inward and do this it is time to come back out as a wise woman and plant the seeds of our wisdom for the next generation. This is quite a different scenario than we have witnessed in our culture for the last few generations. Women have just gotten old after a difficult menopausal passage and discarded by our society. Their usefulness has been hidden by our lack of awareness of the value of this phase of her life. With so many women going through this sacred passage now we can not afford to have a vast amount of women just getting old. We can not afford to not honor and welcome our wise women into society to support the collective transformation we are going through.

Nourishing ourselves according to the Earth’s wisdom, the embodiment of the fully integrated feminine, balanced with her masculine, with no apologies about her oozing infinite creative sexual energy, and wise enough to recycle, is the first step in shifting our self rejection as women and open to our wisdom.

Many women naturally experience a rising of kundalini energy as they approach menopause. Their energy is shifting from being projected outward to attract procreation to inward and movement upward through the chakra system. Some experience this as hot flashes as the energy hits up against blocks. This energy is available to clear out the blockages through the entire chakra system that does not represent the fully authentic, integrated powerful feminine. It scours the system for all conditioning that is not compatible. It is a powerful serpentine energy that is the master of transformation. It prepares us to take our place with the wisdom that comes from the depths of our soul’s journey. It prepares us to be so grounded in it that we are unshakable. We are no longer under the influence of society’s conditioning. We have the strength to tell it like it is as we pass the baton to the next generation laced with deeply earned wisdom.

Honoring ourselves, shifting the self rejection, nourishing ourselves according to the wisdom reflected from nature and making friends with our sexual energy is important preparation for this sacred passage.

When we are not grounded and unable to nourish ourselves appropriately the kundalini rising through our bodies can become a dangerous vehicle that carries us to realms we are not prepared for. It can shred and dismember us in such an unmerciful way we can’t integrate it. Opening to this energy in a way that supports the cleansing of the chakra system and prepares us for our role as wise women without getting blown out of the water is a tricky dance.

Nourishing ourselves according to nature’s wisdom grounds us on this wave of transformation season by season at a manageable voltage. We become acquainted with ourselves, transforming cycle by cycle. We are experienced riders by the time menopause arrives. We are able to utilize this serpentine energy as it rises up our spine. We can then integrate this transformation, embody it and take our place as the elder with a baton that is worth passing on. There may have never been a time in history that is calling for this more than now. We can do this.

Several years ago I had a kundalini awakening. The serpent uncoiled at the base of my spine and took me for a ride that would shape the rest of my life. It was exciting, scary as hell, and beyond earthly description. And, this ride lasted two years with me integrating it for the past 15 years.

Being a scorpio who loved sexuality and was actively practicing the mastery of my sexual energy I foolishly jumped on this enormous force and rode it for all it was worth throwing caution into the wind. Not only did this foolish unguided approach to a kundalini blowout almost blow out my circuits but the fear it caused from the sheer power of this energy shut me down. I became afraid of my sexual energy. Too big, too scary. It took me years to recover, but I never forgot what it taught me about our existence and interconnectedness with all there is.

When I finally got dropped back down to Earth I was immediately guided to go through schooling in the Taoist 5 element nutrition. I recognized the similarity of the teachings they received from nature with the experience I had. Everything is self similar-a fractal of it all.

I recognized the sexual life force energy that moved through the Earth’s body as self similar to our own. And I was shown how necessary it was to ground ourselves on this wave of energy at a manageable daily voltage.

Believe it or not the seasonal foods in our environment grounds us on this creative, transformative wave of energy that runs through the Earth’s body. Aligning with it supports us to clear blockages, heal and transform. I found it a critical piece in being able to ride out the intensifying energy that is coming through as we go through this collective transformation. It supports us to do our own personal transformation that is connected to the collective in a bite size piece, that is ours to heal. Not having this grounding and structure can easily create a tendency to leave our bodies and merge with a much bigger, more intense experience that is not manageable. It can easily put us on overwhelm and paralyze us.

The nourishment piece in our lives when aligned with the creative force of the great Goddess Mother Earth supports us to own ourselves in our entirety, transform and let die off what no longer serves us, and give birth to the new consciousness of our journey bite size piece at a time so we can integrate and embody her wisdom.

When we go through menopause, this life force energy rises like the wave through the Earth’s body. It moves through our own body as a fractal of hers. When we are blocked we have many discomforts, such as hot flashes as this wave of energy tries to clear the passage so we can embody her wisdom. Without obstructions we become the keepers of this wisdom, sharing this wisdom in its purity. This is why the elder women were so revered at one time and considered the true wise women.

When we live by this seasonal map and have allowed these obstructions to be dealt with as we dip into our shadows, just as nature dips into her winter, heal, restore, and create we are prepared for when the energy rises for our initiation into cronehood.

I ran across this reading Huffington Post, and just had to share it. I welcome a discussion if you are inspired to share your feelings.

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook:

“Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I'm] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…”

I was touched.

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing:

“I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1. “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.”
So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine. The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds.

2. “Arjuna, you’re lucky. You’ve got an incredible partner. I’m together with a woman who’s not like Chameli.”

I really don’t have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I’ve been lucky in finding a great woman, but here’s how it happened for me. I’ve had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I’ve experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the vengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself. A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way.

3. “I don’t have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I’ll ever meet anybody.”
Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you’ve had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same.

4. “I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn’t even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o’clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint.”
That’s where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don’t yet know how to love. And that’s that the big question that you have to consider: “Is that okay with me?” Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner’s bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual… have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here’s where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart’s gift having been fully given?

Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was, if I was was raw and vulnerable and uncomplicated, that it was actually not OK. If I died one day without having fully loved, it would not have truly been a life well lived.

Many many years ago, I went to Bali for a vacation, on my own. I met up with some other young travelers there and we hired a Jeep to take us on a tour of the island. We drove up right to the highest point of the island, where Tourists don’t usually go. Our guide took us to one of the most sacred temples. It was surrounded by a big brick wall with an ornate entrance. After removing our shoes and wrapping scarves around our heads, we stepped together through this entrance. Inside, there was a short courtyard and then another brick wall with another entrance. After more preparations of lighting incense and giving offerings, we stepped through the second entrance. We were allowed to go through the opening in one more wall, but that was it. All together there were ten walls around the deity in the middle. Hindus could go beyond the fourth wall. Devotees of that particular deity could go beyond the fifth wall, and so it went on. The only people allowed to approach the deity directly were those who had given their lives completely and totally to its worship. Everyone else could come a little closer, a little closer, to the innermost beauty, but not all the way to the center.

I’m not a big believer of the worship of statues, but there’s a beautiful symbolism to what I saw there, because a woman’s heart is just like that. At the essence of every woman’s heart is the divine feminine. It contains everything that has ever been beautiful, or lovely, or inspiring, in any woman, anywhere, at any time. The very essence of every woman’s heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it’s protected, for good reason, by a series of concentric walls. To move inwardly from one wall to the next requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with Grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She doesn’t even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship.

If you stand on the outside of the outermost wall, all you have available to you, like many other unfortunate men, is pornography. For $1.99 a minute, you can see her breasts, maybe her vagina, and you can stimulate yourself in a sad longing for deeper love.

Step though another gate, and she will show you her outer gift-wrapping. She’ll look at you with a certain twinkle of her eye. She’ll answer your questions coyly. She’ll give you just the faintest hint that there is more available.

Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she’ll open her heart to you more. She’ll share with you her insecurities, the way that she’s been hurt, her deepest longings. Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility. But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then. And so it goes on. You’ve got the gist by now.

Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all women’s. She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition.

Then, at the very center, in the innermost temple itself, all the layers of your devotion are flooded with reward all at once. You discover the very essence of the feminine, and in a strange way that is not exactly romantic, but profoundly sacred all the same, you realize that you could have got here with any woman if you had just been willing to pass through all the layers of initiation. Any woman is every woman, and every woman is any woman at the same time. When you love a woman completely, at the very essence of her being, this is the one divine feminine flame. It is what has made every woman in history beautiful. It’s the flame behind the Mona Lisa, and Dante’s Beatrice, and yes, also Penelope Cruz and Heidi Klum. You discover the magic ingredient which has lead every man to fall in love with a woman.

When you learn how to pay attention to the essence of the feminine in this way, you fall to the floor in full body prostration, tears soaking your cheeks and clothes, and you wonder how you could have ever taken Her, in all of Her forms, for granted even for a second.

So just a couple small questions remain. First, do you get what I’m talking about? Does it jive for you? Does it make sense? And second, if yes, how are you going to get from where you are now to being able to the full capacity of your heart to love for real? I’d be glad to share more about this if we get to know each other better, but here’s how you get started.

First, do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called “Beatrix” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you’re single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you’re already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way.

The second way to get started: make a practice, a discipline, of telling your woman, or any woman, ten times a day something which you adore about her. “I love the smell of your shampoo.” “I love the way you laugh.” “The color of your eyes is so beautiful.” Of course, you need to keep it appropriate. You can go as far out on a limb as you like if you’re in relationship with a woman, but with anyone else remember the gates. Keep you communication appropriate to the gate number that you find yourself at. Appreciation the curve of a woman’s breast, for example, if she happens to be the cashier at the supermarket, would equate more to harassment than worship.

So here’s enough to get started. Of course, there’s a lot more we can say about this. Feel free to post your comments below, and I’ll use them as the foundation for future blogs.

Arjuna Ardagh

There is nothing like the tragic devastation of the worst environmental disaster in history executed by a powerful few to uproot the depths of grief and rage that has been felt in only small tolerable doses.

Witnessing the oil covered birds with their pitiful cry of, “Why?” has unleashed grief buried so deep and so vast it is as if it is coming from the same reservoir of oil that is flowing from the Earth’s core.

It is inconceivable and extremely unnerving to witness such disrespect. Unfortunately these few are the culmination of all the seemingly small disrespectful actions that each of us takes in our lives. Multiply each of our unconscious thoughts and actions by every one of us, pour that all into one pot and you have what we see before us. Our little piece doesn’t seem like much, so we think, but, when you add up all the small pieces it makes a very big pot of toxic, destructive soup that can poison our entire world.

Don’t want to think about it? Don’t want to claim any of it? If we all claimed just our little piece it would add up to an equally large pot of pristine, delicious, nourishing soup. If we sit back and just blame those few who embody the totality of our unconsciousness, we miss a necessary deep healing, we feel helpless and disempowered, and our rage will ravage us just as we are ravaging our Earth. What we see before us is a physical manifestation of a collective consciousness that has escalated to a momentum of this magnitude. It is a single picture that gives us a reflection of our path as humanity. Think it’s time to choose another path?

Say our prayers that the right action will be taken to rectify this unconscionable disaster. Include in our prayers that each of us takes the action in our own lives that will put a stop to this insanity.

What is a simple step we can take? One obvious step is to drive less and support clean energy. Expand this outward and another obvious step is to nourish our self with seasonal, local, organic food. This may not seem like much, but consider how much fuel is used transporting our food all over the world. Food transportation and industry is a huge contributor to our addiction to oil, the life blood of our Mother. This simple step empowers us as we demand safe, organic, local food and not tolerate the continuation of this excessive need for oil. This simple step will vastly improve the health of every living being on Earth, including the Earth herself.

Our power is where we put our money and attention. Put your money and attention toward a sustainable, respectful relationship with our world such as a backyard garden, or the local farmers at the farmers market. Demand local organic food at your community grocery stores. Use the power of money and intention and transform our world instead of feeling helpless to the path of destruction.

If everyone stewarded their small piece of land, yard, or balcony that would multiply and reverberate out to the entire planet. If everyone one of us drive less, live simpler, and eat locally that would multiply and reverberate out to the collective. It is up to every one of us to right this horrific wrong we have inflicted on our Mother.

Use this outrage as the fuel needed to make these shifts. The seemingly simple act of feeding ourselves can have a huge impact. Take a serious, honest look at your life. How can you simplify and use less of our precious resources? Our prayers must be united with our actions.

My own grief and outrage has made me stop in my tracks and take a deep look at how I can reduce my impact on this increasingly fragile environment. I thank you for allowing me to speak these words as a way to cry out to others and transform this into a sense of joy and well being in the knowing that we are able to make a difference in our everyday lives that honors our Great Mother.